Hrmm... well, it turns out I kinda suck at blogging... A flurry of posts before the 12wbt challenge kicked off, then nothing until week 11. I vented everything on facebook so there was nothing left for the blog!
Ah well. But here we are again...
The good news is that on the program, I have shed more than 8kgs so far. I'm at my lowest ever weight in about 7 years. My clothes are so baggy they hardly fit - even my underwear is too big! I've gone from a loose, flabby couch potato to actually having some tone to my body. I have a few muscles even! I love not carrying around a spare tyre everywhere I go, and I love that just this morning I had to buy a pair of size 10 gym pants because my 14's and 12's are too big. I only had the 12s for 4 weeks but already they have been regegated to the 'lazy around at home pile' because to wear them in public means forever pulling them up. Nice feeling that.
It's nearing the end of week 11 and while I'm pretty stoked with my progress on the program, I know I still have a fair way to go. Even though I cracked the 10% loss barrier, I am still in the overweight category of the BMI. I have kinda floundered the past few weeks too. I'm not sure exactly why. You'd think that these awesome results and being so close to being in the 60s again that I can practically smell it would keep me focused. Not to mention that my best friend gets married in a few weeks and I am the Maid of Honour! And that my MOH dress is still a tiny bit snug, due to no larger sizes being available for purchase!
But despite all this, just today I fell into old habits and binged in a self pity-fest. I started the challenge strong, it got to Week 6 - half way! before I succumbed to the lure of a bag of chips. I did how Mish suggested and I layby'd it. I worked for it, I saved it up and anticipated it for days. And when I had that first chip, it was like all my Christmases had come at once. It was bloody brilliant! And I enjoyed it. I enjoyed all 175g's worth. I even stayed with in my calories... and I thought - this is awesome! I can have my cake AND eat it too. You would think that that would be the end of it.. I had an itch and I scratched it.
Only... Instead of scratching and inch, I look back now and I think it lulled me into a false sense of security. The 'having your cake and eating it' mentality. And it's wrong. Oh so wrong. I realised today, with a couch literred with chip crumbs, an empty packet and a bloated stomach, that I really havent learned much at all.
Yeah, I can jog around an oval and not die half way, I can do two gym classes back to back. I can lift weights, I can star jump. I can even LIKE it. I cook easy, low calorie meals, I can track and eat well with minimal effort. But when it comes to dealing with my demons, and the voice in my head, its still hard and I clearly have a long bloody way to go.
It's time to put that inner Lab back on his lead!
My goal now, is to start Round 3 in the 60's. Thats 2.5kgs I need to shed between now and kick off on September 12. I can do that!
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